Over the years it has been proved that arranged marriages can last longer than so called love marriages.In love marriages expectations from partners are too high, they shape up as demands. and if demands are not met frustrations are high. It has been my experience as a marriage counsellor that couples who had love marriages fight more intensly as compared to the couples who marry in a traditional way.I am not advocating arranged marriages but would like to state that couples opting for love marriages need to be more realistic and more flexible.
All couples may have to remember the basic fact that love grows over the period. Both partners have to work for love enhancement. Love is not a static thing.It is a process. And many a times in love marriages couples forget this basic fact.
Can anyone share his experience of Love growing gradually in arranged marriages?
I don't agree completely. Not just for couples in love marriages but all the people in any relationship need to be realistic, understanding and flexible. in arrange marriages it is compulsory to love your partner which is the most weird thing. How can you compel an adult individual to love/like someone??? In any arrange Marriage materialistic aspects are given preferences.
ReplyDelete"Why would I opt for a BCom boy if I'm a BE?"
"I will look for better looking girl"
"I don't want my partner to have spects"
"As, i'm earning 1 lac per month I should get wife who earns at least 70 thousand."
"Patrika should be matched"
" Only Koknastha!"
"he/she must be from Pune or Mumbai"
Salary, Education, City, Cast, Family background, External beauty are the most important materialistic thoughts which has enormous impact on the society in case of arrange marriages.
I'm thinking about going beyond these things. I'm not defending love marriages. But I'm definitely not against it. In any relation what important is respecting the other Person as an independent individual... there comes the individualistic approach. We,due to the social conventions, tend to assign responsibilities to some relations unnecessarily. What I would really prefer is letting the individuals decide what their relation means and what exactly them want from the relation.
To respect the partner first you need to respect yourself as an individual. Acceptance of difference of opinion is the most important thing in any relation. You have unload the conventions and prejudice to start up a new relation. And then load your own thoughts, your own perspective, perception which should be on the basis of freedom, acceptance and Understanding.
In short, whether its love marriage or arrange marriage, relations are meant to be broken if not respected. I have touched upon my various thoughts in my blog posts regarding individualistic approach and more importantly freedom!